The Hollywood Foreign Press Association decided, for some reason, to bring back Ricky Gervais as host of the Golden Globes. After three incredibly successful years with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hosting, bringing back Gervais felt like… backsliding. Some of Gervais’s jokes really landed and some were just groan-inducing. Like, the Caitlyn Jenner jokes could have stood alone, but then he took it too far when he tried to joke about Jeffrey Tambor. Anyway, here are some random highlights/notables/interesting moments from last night’s Golden Globes, and this mostly involves Gervais’s one-liners. Note: this is no way comprehensive! You can see the full list of last night’s winners here.
*Good Gervais jokes: “I want to do this monologue, then go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me… snitch.” My favorite Gervais joke: “All these rich, beautiful celebrities having the time of their lives. Let’s hope nobody spoils that. You are megastars with enormous talent. Most of you – some of you just married well.”
*The groan-inducing joke? “I’ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously – now Caitlyn Jenner, of course. What a year she’s had. She became a role model for trans people everywhere…she showed great bravery. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but you can’t have everything.” Then the Jeffrey Tambor jokes about “balls.” He took it to far.
*Everybody makes fun of the Golden Globes: “It’s a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalist wanted to give you so they could meet you and take a selfie with you.” On NBC hosting the Globes: “It’s right that NBC hosts this awards show because they’re the only network that were fair and partial, and that’s because they’re the only network with zero nominations. Nothing in it for them.”
*The Jonah Hill bit. I think it could have been okay if Jonah – who is tight with Leo DiCaprio – wanted to make some jokes about the bear in The Revenant. But A) the bit went on too long and B) we missed half of it because Jonah went off script and started cursing up a storm.
*Matt Damon. Matt Damon actually won Best Actor in Comedy/Musical for The Martian, and The Martian picked up the award for best Comedy/Musical. My hope is that Matty D puts some effort into it and becomes a major spoiler for Leo. Wouldn’t you love that? Matt also presented, and this is how Gervais announced it: “Matt Damon, the only person Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.”
*The thing with Mel Gibson. We knew Mel was going to be there to present Mad Max: Fury Road. It was a mess. Gervais’s first quips about Mel were awkward, then Mel came out and had a decent come-back (“”). Then Gervais came back on stage and apparently, Gervais asked Mel Gibson “What the f—k does Sugart-ts even mean?” NSFW language:
*Quentin Tarantino & “That ghetto.” He referred to Ennio Morricone’s lack of American awards as “that ghetto,” which really bugged me. In any case, Tarantino had his facts wrong. He claimed Morricone had “never won an award for any one individual movie” at a U.S. awards show. Morricone has won two previous Golden Globes, plus a lifetime achievement Oscar.
Lady Gaga won TV Drama actress. Why does the HFPA hate Fargo?! Also, when Gaga went up to the stage, this happened:
Kate Winslet won. For Best Supporting Actress for Steve Jobs. I’m not happy about it either. She did call Michael Fassbender a “legend.”
Rachel Bloom winning. She won for Best Actress in Comedy TV show – she was so excited and talking so fast!
Oscar Isaac won. For best actor in a TV drama and panties exploded all over the world. He looked so good!
Sylvester Stallone won. He won Best Supporting Actor, proving that Mark Rylance doesn’t actually have the race tied up, and some people like the nostalgia factor of recognizing Sly. But! Some people are mad because he didn’t remember to thank Michael B. Jordan and Ryan Coogler.
Brad Pitt. He looked aggressively chemical peeled and orange.
Jennifer Lawrence won another award. How many Golden Globes does she need? She’s got three of them now. At least she didn’t fall! She did sound pretty drunk though.
Denzel Washington winning the Cecil B. DeMille Award was lovely. I loved that his wife and kids came up on stage with him. They seemed like a real married couple, and their kids were lovely.
Brie Larson won. She’s waged such an effective undercover campaign, it wouldn’t surprise me if she went all the way.
Taraji P. Henson. She won, she was drunk, and she handed out cookies.
The Revenant is the one to beat? It picked up awards for Best Drama, Best Director and Best Actor. If Alejandro Innaritu wins a second Best Director Oscar for Boy Drama in the Woods, I will freak out. Leonardo DiCaprio won Best Actor in a Drama and he got the second standing ovation of the night. It was bizarre.
And in the end… this show was all over the place. I felt (and still feel) second-hand drunk from the evening. I will give the Golden Globes some credit: after several really boring awards shows in a row (God, the Emmys sucked so hard last year), it was refreshing to have an awards show that moved quickly, like a drunk roller coaster ride full of obscenities.
Photos courtesy of Getty, Fame/Flynet and WENN.
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